Spotted: Chuck and Blair Single?

Let's talk about singlehood. A friend of mine, let's call him Chuck, just called and just opened up to me about his depressing state. He has been single all his life, so have I, and we just understand how the other person feels. So in the midst of all the depression he is experiencing he admitted that he is jealous of all his roommates. They all have a significant other and obviously he hasn't. I too am on the same boat. Chuck and I decided to out ourselves on our jealousy towards the whole world which seemed lately that is full of couples right and left. This adds on to our misery...Take me for instance, I am almost positive that every event or gathering I go to, everybody has somebody. I thought to myself that it sounds selfish of me to be jealous of others' happiness just because i don't have my own. Well, i have been like that for almost the rest of my 19 years in this life and I just want to be selfish. I am irritated looking at lovey-dovey couples. I just want to throw a chair at them. God this sucks.

Is being single a fault? A curse? A normalcy?

Did Chuck and I brought this upon ourselves or did fate just created us to be miserably single and surrounded with couples?

I have always dreamt of a guy. Not like any of those knight in shining armor bullshit or prince charming to save a damsel in distress...nada! I just wanted a guy who is man enough and who is patient enough to handle all of me. Out of those constant changes around me, the hardest one to me is the part where I have to change who I am. I am a very irritable person. I have little patience. I tend to think I am always right. I don't usually admit that my opinion's wrong. I have my own world and I rarely let people in. I have my own likes and weird as it may be, I like it.

I doubt there is a guy out there who can handle all of me. I am hard to understand and get along with. Ask my family. Ask my friends. That is why I wonder why I still have them...I guess they see something likeable in me. The one thing I am willing to admit is that I do have the most sarcastic, raw and laugh-out-loud humor. There is not a dull bone in me. Well, that is when I am not a sloth. But seriously, I am really funny. See? I can't even stop saying it. I guess being single brought this upon me. I guess it's not that bad afterall. I should start a relationship with myself while waiting for a guy. Till then...

XOXO yana

Spotted: The Iconic Queen B

On the latest runways and fashion columns, Leighton Meester proved to be a success. She has chic style that only her can carry well. Her fashion choices are different and sexy and has variety. This is of course is to be expected of the lady that plays the infamous Queen B of the upper east side, Blair Waldorf. Her alter ego, Blair, has also been a fashion icon for sophistication and class that may very well hide her scheming, manipulating, and hilariously bitchy side. While Leighton dresses a little more casual and chic, Blair belongs to the couture and classic world of Bitchdom. Here are a few of both women's fashion choices.

Blair wearing a sailor dress

Here is Blair sporting a collegian look at Yale.

Here is Blair with her Chanel Poncho obviously hatching a plan.

That yellow dress now tainted by Chuck's lust.

Taking on floral with Chuck

Oh, is white really a perfect color for this B?

Way to go classy on a swimsuit!

Now Blair takes on Audrey Hepburn

Here is a pink floral dress by Collette Dinnigan.

Black starts with a B

ah...young love

The Blue Room

I saw a Nights in Rodanthe today. It was just a simple adult love story. Nicholas Sparks really makes your heart warm and you'd wish you were in the story. The story is about two people who are just living miserable lives. To strangers, their life looked perfect but to them and the people who know them, they are a wreckage. But as fate would have it, they both meet each other in this deserted little beach inn where it's off season. They form a bond and they found in each other what the other needed. It was a romance meant for greatness. When everything seemed like the perfect ending, like in classic Nicholas Sparks novels, death catches you by surprise. Even with the sadness and tragedy, both of them will always have their Nights in Rodanthe.

To me, the movie was not corny or it did not have those hollywood grand gestures or agendas. It simply has the element of love, the classic love that will never fade with time. I simply wanted to live as Adrianne.

I want to meet a man in the most beaufitul place I could imagine. I want to live in that serene house with blue shutters and all its history. I want to wake up every morning looking forward to getting to know him. I want to share my life with this stranger who i know, deep inside, might mean the world to me. I want a man who would trace a map on my body. I want a man to write me letters of love and romance and sensuality. I want to make love in the blue room. I want a man to want me.

XOXO yana

Chill Out Project

I woke up to a colder weather today. My type of weather. Is Fall finally here? It's been around for weeks but I think it just came out today. I Love it. I wish I have a fireplace to sit in front of with some hot chocolate and some Jason Mraz music or what I call "rain music." Maybe this is the "high energy" that my horoscope is telling me about. If it is, it definitely made my day. If not, I'll be looking forward to it then.

XOXO yana

The Universe Answers Back

I went on Friendster.com and checked my horoscope there. This is what it says,

"A small snag could trigger your temper today, and leave you feeling frustrated -- and maybe even a little embarrassed for losing your cool. But later in the day, the universe will send you some high energy that will make you feel good. This attitude resetting will enable you to look at this obstacle and see it in a new light. Suddenly, you'll see a way around it -- a short cut! Things might get off to a rocky start, but they are sure to work out by the end of the day."

Great...I just went berserk and had a fit with my mom. That high energy better be good.

Love for a Person Who Hurt Me.

They don't give you a "Free-Out-of-Jail" card when it comes to your family.
They don't give you instructions on how to make it right.
They also don't warn you when you're running out of time.

I am just so frustrated with mine. I love them to death but they just make it so hard for me to love them. Unconditional love? That's what they call it right? My mom makes it sound like love has so many conditions. I think that she always blames me for things that happen even if it's my sister's fault. She hands me over my older sister's responsibilities. I think I am emotionally and mentally unstable right now. I can't keep up with her, I can't please her all the time as hard as I try. She does not see the things I do just to please her and everyone around me. It's hard. I slip once, a little tiny slip, and boom! "You are ungrateful," "Who do you think you are?", "I gave life to you,"...and the list goes on. If she can't see that I am the only one here who actually thinks about everybody and how everyone would feel and that I try to make our living conditions bearable for everybody then...what am I to do? What am I still doing here?

I just love her so much that it hurts me when she does not know how much pain she causes me.
It hurts me that I am always the one to blame.
It hurts me when I cannot scream at her all the feelings I have.
It hurts me when she thinks I am hiding something.
It hurts me when after all that I've done, she comes to my 13 year-old brother who does not respect her when she is angry at me.
It hurts me to have to work hard at gaining her respect.

She hurt me...She doesn't even know it.

God I love her.

Anger Management

The only time that my sister is in the house is the time when she wants to go ballistic towards the entire family. We barge her with questions that only requires simple answers because they are required especially in the way she lives her life. Does she really need to have a scowl or just plain rude? Sometimes I just want to slap her. Tell her to leave. ARGH! This kind of attitude is the last thing my mom needs. Of course, as if it doesn't get any more annoying, she asks favors or money or whatever to the both of us. She's lucky we always help her out. That's what families do but she better treat us with more respect. How ungrateful! I am so sick of her attitude and her drama. Fuck that!

whew...now i need to watch my blood pressure.

XOXO yana