Introducing: The Movie Addict

Hi my name is Yana and I am a movie-holic.

I make it a point to watch movies on a regular basis. It is my obssession. I tend to revolve my own life to those of the movies. It is in fact a hobby of mine but lately I have thought of it as a job. If it was up to me, I would have seen all the movies that has ever been shot. I can watch movies all day long. I imagine in my head the things I would like to write in a column for a review on a paper or magazine or a website. I study the characters and the places and the scenes. I find it disturbing actually...

You may say that I'm lazy. Go ahead, I welcome you. But I do find this sort of adventure through films. They comfort me, strangely enough. It is a journey to me; one that I cannot and will never experience for I, in my opinion, lead a very tedious life and this is my one outlet.

Come and join me in my world and the world of eccentric, deeply-flawed, vulnerable, exciting, and almost-real characters and their life called the "movies."

XOXO Yana

Life is a Single Skip for Joy

I have been working hard lately... yes! I have been working and if anyone thinks otherwise well, your opinion does not matter here. It was a surprise to me that I did not have to work yesterday and today. Thank God! I deserve it. What did I do? I caught up with some television shows I love and rented movies that I have been dying to watch and just got lazy. What?!?! I deserve it.

Moving on... I rented a movie called "Dedication." I saw its previews online and just by looking at it, it has my name attached to it. I love dry movies. They are simple yet full of content; straight-forward yet you get a feeling of mystery for all it's incomplexities.

First of, I love Mandy Moore. I have been a big fan since her A Walk to Remember days and although her movies lately has not given her much justice, I still remain her groupie. She did try more teen movies after and just left her on a plateau. (Chasing Liberty is an exception and that left me in a love trance) Later on, she went into this phase of weird, bizarre roles in movies that I was about to give up my interest. Then came her dumb romantic comedies which I thought were cute but lacks substance for her talent. Finally, Dedication, I felt, gave her that area which she could actually excel into. Let me just get this out of the way... I love this movie!!!

As for Billy Crudup, who plays opposite Mandy Moore, he did give a stellar performance in my opinion. I liked his movies such as Almost Famous (Cool movie, btw), Big Fish, Stage Beauty (love, love love!), and Trust the Man. I do feel that he is a good actor that deserves more credit than what is given to him from his movies and projects. He can dive into a character and embrace it without any reservations. He also ain't bad to look at.



Billy Crudup plays Henry Roth, a successful children's book writer who lives a dull life. The only person he does care about is his collaborator, Rudy, who recently died and left him to finish his next children's book. Henry needs to work with Lucy, Mandy Moore's character, who is an illustrator, to finish his next book.

Henry Roth is... let's just say, he is not good with the ladies. He pushes people away and just wants to be by himself in his dump of an apartment in solace. He is very rude towards Lucy and pushes her away at every opportunity he gets. He does this because he unknowingly is falling for her eccentricities and her balls to snap back at him. Henry has a problem with sleeping, riding in cars and asking help from friends and she helps him get over those fears. Lucy has a tough exterior but deep inside, she wants a man to woo her too. This happens through Henry's little gestures...

1. Gives her this tiny, unusual, unique rock. He throws the rock at a beach full of pebbles and later on finds it for her. (How sweet is that?!?!?)

2. Borrows a friend's beach house so that she can concentrate on her work.

3. Gives her a telescope that she has been wanting since childhood.

I cannot give the movie justice with my words... You just have to go see for yourself...

They have hilarious dialogues and sweet moments together that even with all that animosities, craziness and sarcasm thrown all together, you can't help but root for the two to end up. Let me just praise the writer, David Bromberg, for this movie. The dialogues are funny and sarcastic and just beautifully written. I was laughing the whole time. Brilliant!!!

Here are some quotes for you...

"The reason why people get together now because they think they're looking for similarly broken people."

"Life is nothing but the echo of joy disappearing into the great chasm of misery."

"Life is nothing but the occasional burst of laughter rising above the interminable wail of grief."

"Don't accuse me of not liking you."

"You're the goddamn thing!"

aww....sighs...another hit for Ms. Moore

P.S. THIS IS FOR ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO GAVE UP, IS GIVING UP, AND IS GOING TO GIVE UP ON LOVE. YOU ARE NOT AS HOPELESS AS YOU THINK. THERE ARE FAR MORE HOPELESS PEOPLE THAN YOU ARE. GET OVER IT. MWAHUGS!!!

XOXO Yana

My Mom, My Rock

As I walked out the door of my house to go to work I was greeted by an achingly gorgeous sunset.

I felt like I was looking at the gods' painting spread across the sky for mere mortals look at in awe. I rarely see the sky like that. Actually, I don't really notice it or even have the time to gaze up at it. It was a relief to see something beautiful and effortless still comes to life. The way life should ideally be. So imagine a burst of oranges spilled across the sky with egg yolks thrown over it. Okay, it sounds gross the way I am describing it but if you actually see it for yourself you would have cried thinking that what you are seeing is impossible. I guess it's the way we should all live our lives. Don't doubt anything, keep the faith because once something that you have been praying or hoping for happens, it's a tearjerker.

"Just when you thought things are in the worse possible situation, God surpasses your expectations and shows you a beautiful rainbow."

It's been a tough day for my mom. The doctor just told her that she needs a surgery to take out her uterus because there's a risk of cancer from her current medicine and that she has a lump, might be benign, in her cervix. Recently, she has had breast cancer and has been treated for chemotherapy. So far, thank God, she has been recovering quite well and has great hair to boot!

After finding out about the much needed surgeries, she broke down. It was difficult to watch any mother break down in tears in front of you. To me, they are always the backbone or the pillars when they're off springs are down. I realized then that there will come a time in a daughter's life that she must act as the strong, "motherly" pillar. And I am sure that this is my time.

Some minutes passed and I thought that it was good of her to cry. She needed to pour out all that emotions; just let it out. She needed the release and I am glad to give it to her. I wanted to tell her, "don't worry mom, I'll be strong for you this time."

I know in my heart that everything will be alright. God does not give His child a challenge that he or she cannot conquer. My mom has a strong willed support system holding her hand all the way. My courageous dad, my good-hearted aunt, my strong-willed big sister, my sweet dear brother, my crazy-ass international friends and me...

She will get through this like a pro.
She is a fighter and already a survivor.
My mom is strong like a rock and has all the faith in God like a saint.
She is my rock and my inspiration.
She is my hero.
And I love her with all my heart.

She is now feeling much better and coping with everything better than I expected.

XOXO Yana

Hats: Cloche

Recently I have been into hats. More so on hats from the 20s. I have just seen these gorgeous bell-shaped hats and I just have to get one! They look so classic and elegant and something that not a lot of cali girls would wear so it's perfect. I think that it is just subtle and not overbearing. Especially since I have seen lots of over-the-top feathery hats and big ornaments on the head. Don't get me wrong, I love the drama and I do own quite a few feathery headbands but I think this is a simple but still making a statement look. And it's fresh. This is something like Daisy Buchanan would wear while in her partying days.

XOXO Yana

My James McAvoy Obssession

The Title says it all. Who could resist this charmer with his intense blue eyes and magnetic glance? I swear, every time he speaks I feel like his lips are swooning me; his voice like hot chocolate for my ears. I am in a deep trance. I haven't even discussed his acting talent yet.

Let's face it. James McAvoy is not your typical leading man. He is not tall nor dark but he is most definitely handsome. You can't have everything, can you? But superficial things aside, he is a true gem. A gem with flaws and imperfections yet this is what makes him irresistible. He is the unconventional and modern-day, dashing prince charming.

Here are some of his films that I have seen:

Rory O'Shea Was Here

Here he plays a very disabled person who is paralyzed from neck down. He decides to move in with another disabled that no one else understands other than him. Together they for a bond and experience independence, love and heartache. This is the first movie I saw James in. His character is very bitter but I thought that he was charismatic at the same time. I just hated his blonde hair.

Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

Here he plays Mr. Tumnus who is half human and half goat. He dangerously befriends Lucy and is soon caught up with the unite witch's wrath. Again, I thought that he is very charismatic even though he almost betrayed Lucy. He really plays awkward character well that even though his part was of a cowardly goat he acted very endearing and lovable.

Penelope

Here he plays Johnny Martin a very addicted gambler who was hired to pretend to woo Penelope only to get a close-up picture of the pig-faced girl. He plays a very un-dashing prince charming but you can't help but fall inlove with him. He is tough and scruffy on hte outside but deep inside, he is a sweet and sincere guy. His hair looks hat too.

Starter for 10

Here he plays a very intellignet college freshmen who joins an intelectual club who joins a hameshow. Like his earlier awkward characters this one tops it all. He just experiences problem after problem thinking that he still is doing the right thing. What he is actually looking for is right under his nose. You can't help but cheer for him in this movie.

Becoming Jane

Here he plays the rumored-lover of Jane Austen who became her greatest inspiration. Tom Lefroy is a playboy who worked to open up Jane Austen's sensual and romantic side. With him she experience "what's out there," love and heartache which always goes hand in hand. James plays a different character. One that is not at all awkward but is very sure of himself. Here he combines his dashing good looks and acting prowess to result in one of my favorite characters in movies.

Atonement

Here he plays mentally-tortured man who is caught up in a love so perfect, it was forbidden. His search for love along with the woman he loves is treacherous with a force tearing them apart. They "deserve" a happy ending together. This is truly his best performance to date. The intense gaze he projects from his eyes and the pasionate tone of his voice is truly magnetizing, it's hard to take your eyes off him. So hands down best performance to last the next 50 years.

Wanted

Here he plays a son of a murdered assassin and is hired and brutally trained to become part of an elite team of assassins. Here he tries to uncover a conspiracy with the help of a sexy assassin. Honestly, I was dissapointed with this movie after all that hype about the movie. I thought that he deserved a better movie.

So, movies I still need to watch with James McAvoy?
1. Bollywood Queen
2. Bright Young Things
3. Last King of Scotland

There you go. I am seriously on high right now... You have no idea. Will you maryr me, James? I must be crazy. Well, it's free to dream, right?

XOXO Yana

Anger Overload: It's ALways my Fault

Am I such a terrible person? Yes, I can be very mean and think negative thoughts about people and criticize everything about them every chance I get but do not truly deserve a day of normalcy and peace? I needed it so much... a day of peace especially yesterday but when I think I almost have it, it slips out of my reach and I lose it.

You see, graduation is on the next day. I did not even want to go to it. 3 weeks ago I almost brushed it off but with the insistence of a friend of mine, Sara, I changed my mind. I mean, what the heck? I am gonna be alive for a long time and a chance to graduate and be recognized for that type of achievement only happens once in a big fat blue moon. So why not?

In the beginning I am only doing this because I wanted to see my old friends. The people around me were even more excited that I was. I just did not see what's so exciting about it. Then the hype happened. I started looking for a dress, contracting my 5 special guests, asking my sister to get rid of the undesirable, bought a curling iron, gave all details to my mom, etc. Eventually the inevitable happened. I realized that I did want to do this. I will probably never admit it to anyone out loud but I do want to go through with this.

So I guess Fate got something outta the fridge and glanced at the pot-it stuck in front of it. (NOTE: Blog "Outta my, outta my... you're talking way too much explains this.)

It felt like a time-bomb that's been ticking a long time suddenly exploded. Everything was just going wrong and all was chaotic. Nothing seemed right and everybody was just pissing me off but I can't be mad. Finally I just wanted to explode!

My mom was reprimanding my brother and it hurt me. More so today because he was there for me when I just wanted someone to listen and I feel that he was battling a giant and I can't really do anything about it. He was helpless against my mom's formidable force. It seemed like my brother acted the way every kid would. He just needed a break. On the other hand, he was rude to my mom. He hurt my mom's feelings pretty bad. Now I'm not saying he did or did not deserve what happened. The truth is, I don't think neither one of them should have acted the way they did. What hurt me the most is when my brother said, "She (Jace) out there laughing and is not minding me at all." I hated not being there for him especially after he's been there for me. Now I don't mind being the big sister but when I'm not around, Jace should do the job. She is after all the eldest. I help her, why can't she help me? Her excuse is always her husband. Well, I don't fucking care about her husband. He is a big boy and can take care of himself. Why don't you stop playing fucking scrabble! You are the eldest sister so act like one! What bothers me the most is that my brother respects her. He does not treat me like he does her. Do you see the problem here?

I am craving for sleep, my back is killing me and I do not feel pretty. Don't I deserve a little help here? I feel so bitter and miserable that I find it hard to sympathize to others when they complain to me especially my sister. I blew up on her a while ago. She asks me what's wrong but does not do anything about it. So no! I am not sorry for the things I said to her. I am not sorry for raising my voice at her. She even had the nerve to tell me that I am being dramatic! What the fuck! You don't even know. I hope tomorrow when i get back all of this bullshit's over. Sleep should do everybody good but not me.

Now I kinda get why people commit suicide.

I m dreading going home this morning. I feel like I have to apologize for something I said. Something that was needed to be addressed so I still stand by my word. I am not sorry. I've kept y mouth shut so many times and let others not listen to me only to find out that they should've. But it's funny how things always turn around and before I know it, it's my fault.

XOXO Yana

P.S.

I usually write some of my posts in a notebook before putting it here. First reason is that I don't always carry a laptop with me. Second is that I have so many thought in my head everyday that I will lose it if I don't put it down at that moment. So I may write something here that has passed already and may not feel that way...