I Think I'm Stupid

I feel like I'm breaking down.

I tend to forget things in a short period of time. I don't even remember what I did on the job. I have notes on it or what I have done but I don't have a memory of it. When I try to remember things, i see a jumble of images that makes no sense to me. My mind is a whirlwind of confusion and loss. I have been called stupid a number of times and they are happening at a close distance from each other. Day by day, i feel the weight of my mistakes take a toll on me. I feel less confident of myself and the things I do. Whenever I try to accomplish something, I feel that the work I have in front of me is completely wrong. What the hell is wrong with me?

Sometimes, I feel like I did something but there is completely no record of it but there is in my memory. It seems as if some gods or nymphs are playing a trick on my mind. I am mostly unfocused and I tend to drift off. I don't want to but I just do. I feel so useless and ignorant in a world where most people run around in a rush while I'm taking my time walking, taking it step by step...I am being left behind. Then I wonder, maybe I'm sick or maybe I have a tumor in my head. This overreaction may seem inappropriate but maybe I'm just plain stupid.

That is thanks to my wonderful boss who makes me feel like such a loser and a dumbass everyday I go to work.

XOXO Yana