Setting Myself up for Diss_apointment

It's my birthday today. Whoopee!

I somehow feel obligated to write something here...anything...because it's the celebration of my 20th year being a sarcastic, foul-mouthed, highly obssessive natured bitch slash human being. whew!

Also I have a very "special" follower who I want to update from time to time.

So here it goes. I woke up feeling like it is just like any other day. Quiet...the sounds of the constuction machines behind my house renovating the park suddenly defeans me. It certainly is gonna be an insignificant day. So I washed my face...one of the many things i look forward to doing. Neutrogena's cream face wash is oh so soothing and really promises to transform my face into a smooth silky texture. Whoops! Don't forget the moisturizer now! So i go on and do my other morning routine...and then there's work.

Let's not talk about that right now.

My dad greeted me yesterday. So sweet, i love him. If I grow old single and alone, I know that he will be the first and last man in my life. I miss you!!! Then my mom greeted me too...then there was a series of facebook messages and phonecalls and text messages that took place which I deeply enjoyed and left me very warm and satisfied. Only there is this ringing in my ear. Ringing of the ever apparent and usual suspect in my head, the sound of disapointment. I was hoping for a greeting from a guy. Yes, a guy. Sounds pathetic? Not nearly as pathetic as the picture of me actually thinking that he will. Woah!

Questions questions...Did he forget? Will he text me for the remaining duration of the day? Does he even know that it is?

I guess i can say that I like him. Maybe this makes me dillusional into thinking that he will text me or that he actually cares. oh well...

The whole time that we were talking on the phone and texting or whatever, my friend, Oat, his voice has been ringing in ear the whole time. We both have been in similar situations and we both feel the same insecurities, doubts, confusions, etc. So he mentioned to me this....

"Yana, why do we always set ourselves up for disapointment?"

How can one little statement like that affect my whole way of thinking about things, I wonder. Since the day he said that, I have been asking the same question over and over a day but coming up with no answer. Maybe we all are fools of love...Or maybe just the IDEA of love. I need a cupid badly!

XOXO Yana